country music

I had hoped that you would be here from now on,
But memories of us are all I have left to dwell upon,
And I loved you like nobody loves you,
And you earned my trust,
But all that's left to show are these memories of us,
And you stole my attention,
But did so with apprehension,
So I wonder if there is to be life after this,
Will you still meet me with that warm, wet kiss?

See country music has ceased to play,
Since the very day you went away,
Because it once spoke softly your dedicated words,
But now it speaks a language I wish I had never heard,

Now it is me who needs to drown out this pain,
The one who needs shelter from this incessant rain,
This tight rope's unravelled and I've fallen apart,
On the count that you're gone and there's a void in my heart,
I have failed to navigate this runaway track,
And now that you're gone you're not coming back,
Our fate is uncertain, is our distance too far?
Or will you someday again rest in my arms?

For now country music has ceased to play,
Since the very day you went away,
Because it once spoke softly your dedicated words,
But now it speaks a language I wish I had never heard.

borrowed time

The words of love you whispered,
The times you held my hand,
The kisses we exchanged,
And the many laughs we shared,
I realize, were all on borrowed time.

The nights I slept beside you,
The times you held me tight,
The long late-night conversations,
And the longing stares across the way,
I realize too, were all on borrowed time.

The love you gave me,
The heart you lent me,
The memories created,
Are fading slowly fading,
As we exhaust our borrowed time.

warm summer night

It was a soft whimpering that slowing tore me from a deep sleep. Sleepily I laid in bed half awake half asleep, listening. Nothing. I reached for my old cell phone, who's sole purpose now is to be my alarm clock. My eyes strained to focus as I checked the time. 3:33 am. What the fuck? I laid there motionless feeling a little sticky as the summer night's heat had apparently caused me to break a sweat as I slept. I quickly turned onto my back as to allow my oscillating fan to cool me down. I laid that way, spread-eagle, for a few minutes before I began to doze off again.

Just as I was drifting back into sleep I heard it again. A soft whimpering. At a distance at first, but as I slowly came to it seemed closer. I sat up and scooted over to the edge of my bed. There it was again. At first I thought it was coming from my roommate's room, but as it grew louder I realized it was coming from outside my window. During the summer months I tend to leave my window open to allow for a little breeze into my room. My window just so happens to be facing a busy intersection and is only a few feet away from the sidewalk, so I am used to hearing people walking by at all hours of the night. This whimpering, however, seemed to be coming from right outside my window. As I sat at my bed I found it a bit odd that someone would be standing outside my window as there is a bit of lawn and some ivy ground covering just outside my window so it is not easily accessible from the sidewalk. Besides the noise of someone stepping through the ground covering would surely have woken me up. Yet there it was seemingly right outside my window, a constant whimpering. I debated for a second whether to investigate the matter. Fully awake then, I stood up from my bed and slowly approached the window so as to make no noise. As I crossed the bedroom and neared the window I realized someone was definitely standing just outside. The soft moonlight projected a shadow onto my drawn blinds. As I reached the window the whimpering suddenly stopped. I stood still, frozen - listening. Seconds later the whimpering continued.

I stood at my window for a long time trying to work up the courage to peer through the blinds. A knot formed in my stomach as the whimpering increasingly became more desperate. I could tell it was a woman and it seemed she was in quite some pain. Suddenly images of "La Llorona", an old Mexican folk story shared with children to scare them, ran through my head. I imagined pulling open the blinds and staring into a demon face. A pair of red eyes. Hell, even the thought of staring into some deranged woman's face standing right on the other side of the window screen sent chills down my spine. As all these images raced through my head I just stood there not quite sure what to do. After a few moments I decided to bite the bullet and take a peek. I put my ear to the wall just to the left of the window so that I could steal a quick peek through the side of the blinds. All I could see was a black figure standing there. My heart began to race as I realized the person was pressed up against the window screen. The incessant whimpering was really freaking me out. Slowly I put a finger on one of the blind slats. I took a deep breath half expecting a hand to reach through the window screen and take a hold of my hand. I held my finger there for what seemed like an eternity as I worked up the courage to pull the slat down. I felt her warm breath brush passed my finger and I quickly drew it back a little startled. I could hear the breathing get a little heavier as she was now sobbing. I mustered as much courage as I could and finally just pulled a few slats down. I just stood there unable to move and staring right into the warm dark night. There was nothing. No ghoulish figure on the other side of the window, no red eyes, no woman. Slowly I leaned in closer to the window to peer outside. As my eyes frantically surveyed the street there she was sitting calmly on the bus stop bench under the street lamp across the street. She wore a black dress and a black shawl pulled over her head. Her pale face peered from under her shawl and she appeared to be staring straight at me. I pulled my hand back and the blind slats snapped back into position.

My mind was racing. What the fuck?! Was my only clear thought. It couldn't be her. How the hell could she have crossed the street so fast? I quickly pulled the blind slats down again and she was gone. I looked up and down the street but there was no sign of her. Just then I felt it...it was faint at first, I hardly noticed it. As I focused, I realized it was someone's breath on the back of my neck as if someone looming over my shoulder. Instantly the hairs on the back of my neck stood tall and at attention. I could feel someone's presence inches from my back. My stomach dropped, my groin tensed up and I jumped forward and spun around. My eyes strained to again become accustomed to the dark room and once they did there was nothing. I frantically surveyed my room, but I was alone. My heart was racing a million miles a minute and I realized I was all tensed up. I caught my reflection in the mirror from across the room and realized how silly I looked. Slowly I began to relax as I walked back to my bed. I jumped into my bed and as I pulled the sheet over me I felt someone grab my leg from the foot of my bed. Just then I jumped up from my dream.

I had been sleeping. My heart was racing and I was covered in sweat. I quickly drew the sheet over me and scooted over to the wall making sure my feet were nowhere near the foot of the bed. I just laid there trying to regain my bearings and convince myself that it was just a dream. It felt so real, but it was just a dream

home is where the heart is

I want to return home,
My home, before all the changes,
Before it all became so cluttered and clusterphobic,
When the back door led to the back yard,
Instead of the narrow hallway seperating the second dwelling,
When my mother's flower bed grew wildly just below the kitchen window,
I long to return to that home, which on weekends bathed and drowned,
In the music that was the eightees,
When Madonna joked she remembered what it was like,
To be a virgin,
When Prince started his "Revolution",
With the crying of the doves,
Back when watching the WWF was a family event,
Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Tito Santana -- the instigators of playground injuries,
The latter, instigator of my sisters' swooning,
I want to return to my home across the street from flourishing crops,
Alfalfa, cotton, and corn fields were my childhood playgrounds,
But those crops no longer flourish there,
They've been replaced by the upcrop of new developments and single family dwelings,
I want to go back to my home that in winter greeted me everyday after school,
With the smell of homemade flour tortillas and my mothers warm embrace,
Take me back to that home packed with six children and two parents,
Trying their hardest to keep us all afloat,
I long to return to that home,
But know it no longer exists, not how it used to exist anyway,
Now in my age I must start my own home,
And I haven't the slightest clue of where to begin.
--"quiroz" 2005

unconditional

When all has been said.
Then too when all has been done,
You are still - the one.
--"quiroz" 2005

ghost town

Life has long abandoned this town I once called home,
Now forgotten dreams roam its empty streets,
Dreams that once shown bright and full of promise,
Now litter the gutters and choke the very water ways that once brought life,
Those who knew better fled this abyss,
An exodus of higher learning, higher earning,
Yet for those less fortunate,
Their own forgotten dreams now roam among them, taunting them,
Dreams of a life on stage - actor, actress, ballet dancer, performer,
Dreams of being a doctor, a lawyer, a chief executive officer,
Dreams of being President,
Dreams of being a fireman, a cop, a prince, a princess,
Dreams that have died a horrible death giving way to the nightmares of reality,
A reality that drives many to a potent inhilation,
Intravenous subjugation,
To escape this lifeless obligation,
Of a life null of reason or motivation,
And the ones I love the most,
Call it home, this town of ghosts,
So I keep hope alive,
That soon there will breathe new life,
In this ghost town I once called home.
--"quiroz" 2005

i do

Take this ring,
And take my hand,
Love me as I am.
Flawed, complex, and jealous,
But love me as I am.

Take my love,
And take my heart,
Say we'll never part.
Not today, not tomorrow, or the next,
Just say we'll never part.

ake this life,
And make it yours,
For soon it will be ours,
Yours, and mine, and then the kids,
Yes, soon it will be ours.

Take me now,
To be your love,
For all I need is you,
And I'll take you now,
Right as you are,
With a resouding, strong -- 'I do'.
--"quiroz" 2005